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5 things you need to get yourself ‘Right Swiped’ on TINDER (Satire)

5 things you need to get yourself 'Right Swiped' on TINDER (Satire)

Everyone thinks that their profile should be right-swiped all the time. But let’s face it, not everyone knows how to present their best selves on dating apps. In India, you definitely need these in your tinder profiles to make butterflies fly in viewers’ stomachs. 

Note : If you are a woman you don’t need to read this article

1. Good Looks

*Warning*- ‘If you’ve been single since birth, do not download any dating app because they too will not do any good. Be careful, it may lead to depression.’ Well, if you’ve been single for a long time and can’t get a partner normally then maybe there’s something wrong. Go in front of the mirror and there you got an answer.

If you look good, why haven’t you installed it yet? If not, No problem, let’s give this section to filters and photo editing apps to handle. Now gather some temporary confidence and you are good to go.

2. Dog Pictures

It is proved that if you add a picture with a dog or a cat, the probability of getting a response increases. Tinder spokesperson said “Users typically respond to photos that include animals or traveling shots,” adding that about 10% of both men and women include dogs in their photos. So basically, if you include a pic of you and your golden retriever, you’re golden.

If you don’t have a dog, we suggest you adopt a dog, doing world the good and getting matches in turn.

3. Cliché cheesy Pick-Up lines

Your profile is definitely not completed without a cliché though attractive pickup line in the bio. How can someone not fall in love when “On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you lack” is written below your beautiful photo.

4. Intelligence

5. You must be Single

The most important one, you must be single if you’re using tinder. Well it’s completely your choice if you want to use being committed but firstly it is not good to cheat someone, secondly, if he/she finds out then you’ll seriously need help from tinder.

Bonus Tips

  • Be Rich ( Pics with Pink Papers or Royal Enfield works )
  • Mirror selfies can be useful sometimes ( Don’t take them if you don’t have the half eaten apple at the back of your mobile )

And What after you have ‘quite a few likes or matches’?

1. Do nothing but text back and forth for days on end

2. Add every single one to your social media accounts (typically Instagram or Snapchat, WhatsApp), so that they’d see your posts and know that you’re a real person and I’m not catfishing them.

3. Schedule a date with almost all of them who had long conversations with you.

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